If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
