We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
