If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
