Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
