Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
