I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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