Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
