I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
