Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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