Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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