we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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