check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
