I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
