just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
