Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
How external is "for external use only"?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
