spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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