omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
