yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
