Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
MIDGETS
????
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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