weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
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