what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
