And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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