the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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