If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize