Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
