ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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