After last night, I could never be a politician.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
