I wish I could punch you in the face.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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