I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
