You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Randomize
