I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
