Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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