the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
