I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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