Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
