I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
