hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
