Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So squirting runs in the family.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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