If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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