what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
