Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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