the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
