Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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