Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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