went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
home. puking in laundry basket.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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