dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
