you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
