she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
