Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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