Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
