Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
