3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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