Dual....:-)
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
