Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
