I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
