Welp...herpes.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
