Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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