Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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